Distractions from saving: Parenting

They come in all shapes and sizes. I've often thought of myself as somewhat lazy, especially in my teens and early twenties.

But a lot of that has changed, it's had to.

I've surprised myself what can be done in an hour, from tidying the house to researching and buying a new kitchen white good online. All when the pressure is on. The clock is ticking. The pressure of a toddlers nap time, with him possibly waking at any second.

When this first started it was a struggle. The first ten weeks of being a dad were the hardest I've ever lived through. Little to no sleep every night, when I did sleep it was broken between bottle feeds and nappy changes or both.

Then after the 3-4 hour at best sleep I still had to continue normal life, at the time this was a 40 hour week at a job that although I enjoyed was not particularly fulfilling or paid what I'm worth.

However it did keep money flowing in, which unfortunately I wasn't able to save a lot of. Going from 2 full-time salaries to one plus maternity leave salary was a bit of a shock. If we hadn't planned in advance, this could have led to a lot more stress.

Luckily I had thought this far ahead, we had a plan. But I no longer had any time to track how well this plan was going. You see I usually track my financial progress diligently, down to the pound. So what could I do.

I had to let my child take over my life. Family must always come first. So I tried to survive. My wife was a rock throughout all this time. I really don't know how single parents manage. We only have one and this was tough.

Although tough isn't the proper word, it was torture. Relative to my life beforehand life now is torture. However I've got Stockholm syndrome baaad!

A few tips I've picked up to help through this tough time:

• Realising this isn't forever, yes it's going to be a long time, but if you're not ready for a long term commitment, parenting probably isn't for you
• SLEEP - you need to sleep, whenever and for any amount of time. Seriously, this is very important, this ticking time bomb of a crying machine is going to wake up any second. If you don't sleep now, you never will. Ever tried going a day without sleep, how about two days? How about a week of only 4-5 hours a night, how about 10 weeks of broken sleep.
• Eat well, even if you're sleeping all you can, you're still going to be knackered, if you add poor nutrition this will only make things worse. Home cooking is the key, over cook every time you have time, freeze the leftovers to eat when there's no time (which will be most of the time), doing this before the baby arrives gives you a stock pile. As I said early the first 3 months are the toughest. Be good to future you and stock that freezer hard!
• Ask for help. This is one thing I've always struggled with, I always feel I should be the strong one, this is my default setting, so I don't realise when I need to ask for help. Don't make the same mistake I did, accept all offers of help. If family and friends want to come over and let you sleep LET THEM, if they don't offer, ask them to come over!!
• Don't worry. All your priorities are going to change, remember those cool holidays you used to go on? Yeah they're gone now. Remember how your house used to be tidy all the time? Not any more! Don't worry about it. It's cool, yes you could spend that hour between your child going to sleep and waking for a feed to tidy up, or you could grab some sleep or have a bit of time for yourself. I know which I'd rather do.
• Look after your partner. Being male I've greatly had the easier part of the deal. It's still a rough ride though. Look after them as they will for you. Without my partner I couldn't have done this, without me she would have struggled too.
• Get a dishwasher, as I said time is of the essence. Washing up for me has always felt a waste of time. Getting the dishwasher was although a mild one off cost (along with ongoing electric and water bills) such a great time saving. For extra frugal points live minimally and only have a few items to clean, this will mean you have to clean after every meal, but it should only take two minutes if you can do it straight away (hint: I never can).
• To go with the don't worry. If you're currently frugal you may be upset to see that your savings rate either reduces or worse your savings get plundered. If you've planned ahead this isn't necessarily going to be a long term thing, you will probably be able to get back on the savings horse when you're a bit more of a normal human again (when the kids about 18 months old)

There are plenty of others but I think, this will cover the first time parent. I'm sure there are plenty I've missed / forgotten, what are your favourite tips? Please drop me a line in the comments :)

Turn it up a notch

It's time to turn it up a notch!

I don't know how you've been feeling recently, I've felt like life is passing me by a little. Who's fault is that, mine of course. So time to take the reins Muchachos!

Let's get started, my budgets all in a mess.

We've recently moved from budgeting separately to budgeting as a couple due to our beautiful addition to the moneybeta family. He's brilliant and I wouldn't have it any other way. but it has meant I am now the main bread winner. this is all well and good, I am earning enough to cover all the bills with a little left over but its really affected our saving rate.

I'd been tracking it in the upper 30-40% of gross income which was the highest it had ever been at the start of the year, then bam, maternity pay. I'm not complaining that it's low in fact its probably massively too high. Considering our situation with one person earning enough to cover all the necessities, the maternity pay has become more of a "wants" money pot.

This is where the budget has fallen down, with boredom setting in after a few months of being stuck at home and a lot of stir craziness to boot (!), I completely understand why this has happened, however I like to be in control of the cash and it feels like a massive leak is forming one drip at a time.

Not to mention that in the next few months the maternity pay will end.

So what to do, what to do. Well as I said earlier, take the reins dear hart and off we go. We have to trample this budget into a small enough pile to fit our requirements. This means unfortunately putting an end to a lot of the fanciness that has crept in.

Our meal plan will have to be carefully considered after the monthly costs have risen from a budget amazing £275 per month to a belly bulging £350 per month. This is an easy win here, if we get back to the usual weekly food plan and go shopping AFTER having eaten (true fact: if you're hungry you buy more, doesn't everyone know that by now?) we can easily cut this down, possibly even further than what we had done before.

Cancelling TV services. Again an easy one, tried to cancel SKY but am tied in til December, so netflix will have to be cancelled, that's a paltry £6 a month saving, but every penny is a winner in this game.

Clothes shopping, with the change in seasons almost upon us, it's time to stop nipping to the shop and look through all those old winter clothes, get them clean get them washed, chuck out the ones with holes (armholes are ok), this will have a two fold affect. Our wardrobe will be a little emptier, our bank will be allowed a rest from all the clothes buying. This goes the same for shoes, does a man really need two pairs of flip flops? Ebay I hear you calling.

Lunches out / weekend shenanigans, this is probably where we've fallen down the wayside the worst, driving around especially on the weekend, then getting expensive lunches out whilst we're there. It's a killer, real killer. E.g. a 150 mile journey we took not too long ago to see some friends, in my (low mpg) car, almost cost £100! freaking Nora, that's a massive potential contribution to a savings pot that has been negleccted for far too long.


So with these 4 simple plans I'm hoping to slice ooh maybe, £250 into a savings pot, what's that I hear you cry, luuuuuurrrrvvvveeelllllyyy, that's what I was about to say!

Stay well.

Dom

Pic by Gnome icon